Growing up the only pets we ever had, bar a rather shortlived goldfish, were cats. We were a household that played host to a series of deeply idiosyncratic, capricious feline boarders. It may be for this reason that I often find myself comparing my offspring to these pets.
Cats are the only other creatures I've shared a home with that approach the same level of confusion-making inconsistency mixed with pure narcissism that babies are so gifted at. At least that's what I tell myself when I occasionally slip and refer to my son's hands as "paws".
But I've given it a little more thought and there are actually quite a few things babies and cats have in common. So much so that if they ever bridged the interspecies communication barrier their resultant plotting to overthrow us would lead to our downfall. It would be as quick as it would be adorable.
Things cats and babies have in common
Regarding the last, cats may have the upper paw as Chrome extension Unbaby.Me was created specifically to replace baby photos on Facebook with photos of cats (though it can sub in anything, like Benedict Cumberbatch, for instance). And once again cats reign supreme on the Internet.
Obviously there ARE differences. I mean, you rarely hear of a baby happily jaunting about the neighbourhood grooming multiple feeding people thereby enjoying 3 lunches a day. And it's unusual for cats to be strapped to their person's chest and carried around a shopping mall. But wouldn't it be a slightly more awesome world if those things were possible?
So obviously my view of this is somewhat clouded by experiences with cats. But maybe babies are actually more like dogs? Or guinea pigs (I have sometimes wished I could just mount a baby bottle to the corner of The Master's playpen like the ones they have in guinea pig cages and he could just sip away to his heart's content but that's probably bad parenting or something).